Mother on Mother Hate

She’s Mary a working single Mum, gets up at 6 am to shower, eat, wash and dress her kids and drop them at the child minders before heading into the city to work, calls during her lunch break to say Hi and then rushes back to pick them up in the evenings.Mary feels perpetually guilty, she follows Mums on Instagram and sees all the wonderful home cooked dishes she should be preparing lovingly instead of the frozen pizza she planned to shove in the oven. She works 20 hours a week finishing at 2pm so that she can pick up her children from school. Some of her colleagues think she doesn’t put in the effort they do and should take the job more seriously, they talk about this after she’s rushed out of the office.
Her neighbour Karen thinks its awful that she worked through the week that her son had Chicken Pox, she often mentions to friends at the school gates how terrible this is and likes to repeat the phrase “I’d never leave my baby with anyone, especially when he’s not well”
Mary is barely making ends meet, she’s studying for an Open university Degree in the evenings and at weekends which costs her time and money.
Her neighbour Karen has a husband who has a successful business and her Mum lives round the corner, she likes to drop her kids off with her mum some weekends so that she can go to the gym.
Mary’s Mum doesn’t live close and wouldn’t have patience with her children. Mary often feels like she’s letting everyone down, if she works more hours to please her boss and colleagues she’ll miss the school play or not have time to read a bedtime story. If she doesn’t take the over time offered she wont be able to buy presents for birthdays or take her children on the camping trip she’s promised.
If she quits work and claims benefits she’ll be intentionally unemployed and could potentially lose her home and custody of her children.

Ask yourself, are you a Mary or a Karen? Do you know a Mary that could use a hand?

Advertisements

Can I get a Whoop Whoop?

Life Changes

Over the past 2 years, my life has changed dramatically from what it was, I was a stay at home Mum, home educating three of my children whilst working occasionally as a Doula.I love my profession and had the privilege to attend births of many women across London.

Fairly comfortable and had my weekly routines which involved shopping for groceries and visiting friends.I was also suffering from anxiety,  depression, palpitations and about 30 lbs overweight. I was frustrated with myself and often took this out on my long suffering husband.

Since then a lot has changed, my husband’s company went through major problems when his main client pulled out of a massive job at the last minute, leaving us with serious financial problems. All part and parcel of being self-employed, some might say but it meant we then had to rely heavily on benefits to pay our way which is soul destroying.

Long story short we pretty much lost all our material possessions and home. The anxiety got so bad I began to feel as though I was losing my mind, maybe even having a breakdown. I began to run to get out of the house, away from the bills and reminders that no matter how many jobs I’d applied for that week I’d not got a reply. I ran for 30 seconds at a time then walked for 2 mins. My life was a whirlwind my anchor was my religion, my husband and my running.

I threw myself into making life fun for my children, trips to museums and long walks, parks and art in the garden, bonfires and sparklers to shelter them from our stress.

I’m pretty sure my kids would say they were well aware that we were under pressure, but I hope they didn’t feel it.

We moved out of the town we’d lived in all our lives, wow what a relief! We had a great summer in a small town in Essex where we all made some awesome friendships.

Moved again to another town and began all over again, we literally started here with nothing, we got jobs quickly (Thank God) much easier to find employment here than in London where we were before.Working minimum wage jobs at our age was hard but we determined to be independant, never again do I want to have to ask the government for help, they royally let us down before.
I kept praying and running, now I was up to running for 5 mins after some great advice from my brother, “run slower than you walk, to begin with, running uses different muscles and you need to train them”

The running kept me sane, along with prayer, people don’t like to talk about religion these days especially how it feels to turn to God and beg for help, for assistance and being grateful for everything.

These days I juggle work, home ed, running and lately the gym as well, I’ve never been so fit or content. Sometimes we have to be put through a mangle for the negative stuff to be squeezed out of us, we appear leaner and with less baggage, looking on the bright side.