Selfish Mothers.

So the new trend at the moment is mothers loudly declaring that –

“I Love my daughter, I wish I’d never had her”

Guardian Weekend Magazine 11/02/17

Yesterday I didn’t get a chance to read the entire article,  Today I’ve read it, researched the whole movement and yes it’s a thing, bloggers, writers, Instagrammers everywhere online there are a few of these regretful parents.

I feel deep sadness reading these quotes, real anger and a need to go and hug one of my children.

Continue reading “Selfish Mothers.”

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Sick Days

Today is a sick day, not as in “this day is super cool” more, everyone has the lurgy, myself included. Today is a day to rest and heal, drink tea and write, read and catch up on my work, in between bathroom trips and sipping lemsip, this bug is really getting me down.

I’ve managed to get dressed finally and feed a young man, I’d administered physio, he thought his legs were broken this morning, he had a cramp. Some tough love from me, “stretch it out, yes I know it hurts, now walk on it, no, walk properly”

Had left him distraught until he realised he could run, he ran laps around the house to celebrate!

My third son is still in bed, I really must go up and check on him, 1pm is late even for him. My lot have a great knack of really milking a cold for all its worth, I suppose because its only of the times I’ll fuss over them. I’m not usually a fussy mother, not my style. I’m raising men. Men who can do their own laundry, wash up and even my youngest can cook a meal. But when they are ill they don’t have to lift a finger, I’ll sit by their beds while they fight a fever, rubVickss into their (sometimes hairy) chests and make soup, endless honey and lemon and run hot baths with olbas oil in, filling the house with nose clearing vapours, buy their favorite ice cream and watch endless TV to keep them company.

It is nice to feel needed, time flies and my boys are nearly all grown. Sad to think that in ten years or so they’ll have their own lives and wives to share them with. I hope they remember fondly feeling safe and loved.

Whats sick day traditions do you have? Please share in the comments.

 

How We Balance, Home Educating With Sucessfully Freelancing.

How to step outside the rat race and live a life less ordinary in just a few steps.

Just over a decade ago myself and my husband made some big changes in our lives, we left safe, comfortable jobs, he was in sales, I worked in retail, running a deli. We retrained in completely different areas and began new careers at the same time as beginning home education.

Life beforehand had been a mad rush every weekday to get out the door on time, Sul rushed to be able to drop our eldest off at school each day before his long commute across London to work, not returning until well after our children, then aged 7 and 2 had fallen asleep. Family life was strained and we struggled to make ends meet, we hadn’t had a holiday together for years.

The change came shortly after September 2001. We made some major life differences in our lives after the tragic events of 9/11. Like a lot of people, we began to value our loved ones, time together and to reassess.

It ended up with us changing our lives for the better. Sul used his illustration and art background to begin building websites, doing graphic design, print layouts and video introductions. Every evening after work he’d work into the night to get good enough to secure a paying client big enough to quit the day job.

I trained as a professional Birth Partner/Doula and became an apprentice, I worked with numerous families across London and was privileged to help many mothers birth their babies, an absolutely amazing job. Constantly learning and training, every year I added new skills to my repertoire. Exhausting and ridiculous hours took their toll, though. I missed anniversaries, Birthdays and celebrations to attend mothers. I finally hung up my Doula bag for good in January 2014.

Our children are now nearly all grown up, they’ve each gone into an industry they enjoy. Home education and the freedom of working freelance has given us time to nurture their individual talents and for their confidence to grow.

Together we’ve enjoyed a holiday almost every year, sometimes more, trips up and down the country to museums and historical places of interest. Summer holidays that go on over 3 months and long winter evenings together.

It’s been wonderful and I’d like to share with you all how we’ve managed it, answering common questions along the way and letting you into our secrets, tips and tricks from:

  • Mistakes we made in business and how to avoid them
  • How to successfully time manage to ensure you make the most of every day.
  • How to de-register your child from UK school and where to begin with Home Education.

All this and more will be answered in detail in the following posts throughout January 2017.

Change is good 🙂

Can I get a Whoop Whoop?

Life Changes

Over the past 2 years, my life has changed dramatically from what it was, I was a stay at home Mum, home educating three of my children whilst working occasionally as a Doula.I love my profession and had the privilege to attend births of many women across London.

Fairly comfortable and had my weekly routines which involved shopping for groceries and visiting friends.I was also suffering from anxiety,  depression, palpitations and about 30 lbs overweight. I was frustrated with myself and often took this out on my long suffering husband.

Since then a lot has changed, my husband’s company went through major problems when his main client pulled out of a massive job at the last minute, leaving us with serious financial problems. All part and parcel of being self-employed, some might say but it meant we then had to rely heavily on benefits to pay our way which is soul destroying.

Long story short we pretty much lost all our material possessions and home. The anxiety got so bad I began to feel as though I was losing my mind, maybe even having a breakdown. I began to run to get out of the house, away from the bills and reminders that no matter how many jobs I’d applied for that week I’d not got a reply. I ran for 30 seconds at a time then walked for 2 mins. My life was a whirlwind my anchor was my religion, my husband and my running.

I threw myself into making life fun for my children, trips to museums and long walks, parks and art in the garden, bonfires and sparklers to shelter them from our stress.

I’m pretty sure my kids would say they were well aware that we were under pressure, but I hope they didn’t feel it.

We moved out of the town we’d lived in all our lives, wow what a relief! We had a great summer in a small town in Essex where we all made some awesome friendships.

Moved again to another town and began all over again, we literally started here with nothing, we got jobs quickly (Thank God) much easier to find employment here than in London where we were before.Working minimum wage jobs at our age was hard but we determined to be independant, never again do I want to have to ask the government for help, they royally let us down before.
I kept praying and running, now I was up to running for 5 mins after some great advice from my brother, “run slower than you walk, to begin with, running uses different muscles and you need to train them”

The running kept me sane, along with prayer, people don’t like to talk about religion these days especially how it feels to turn to God and beg for help, for assistance and being grateful for everything.

These days I juggle work, home ed, running and lately the gym as well, I’ve never been so fit or content. Sometimes we have to be put through a mangle for the negative stuff to be squeezed out of us, we appear leaner and with less baggage, looking on the bright side.

 

 

Being Happy.

Happy, whats being happy?
Being happy is being Grateful.

Think about it, the most content people are the most appreciative. They are not ungrateful, no matter how little they have. The most miserable of humans are those who take their blessings for granted and are always picking faults in their loved ones or their belongings. Longing for things they don’t have, these people will truly never be happy because they will never have enough. It seems the more we have the more we want, we all know the anecdotes about the poor children who play contentedly with whatever they can find and fashion into toys while our own kids demand the latest games consoles, but the same goes for us adults. We lose things and people we love, do we take the time to think of what we have before its taken away?

I’m sometimes the most ungrateful wretch on this earth so don’t think I’m preaching, I’m mostly talking to myself, reminding myself, least I sit and feel sorry for myself and count the things I don’t have instead of looking around at the amazing amount of richness of my life.

The secret to happiness is to always appreciate the blessings you have. This makes it easier to weather the hard times, and times do get very hard. Life is one test after another, how we deal with these is the real measure of character.

“So which of the favours of your Lord would you deny?”
Surah Rahman.